


Tight

by Scourgefan12



Category: Hellsing
Genre: 100 percent sfw despite the premise, Character Study, Gender-neutral Reader, Other, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26270857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scourgefan12/pseuds/Scourgefan12
Summary: You find yourself in a love hotel, with Jan Valentine of all people. There are only a few ways this can go.
Relationships: Jan Valentine/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Tight

When you first obtained the key to the love hotel, you didn't think much of it. You doubted you'd get much use out of it, you had much more important things to focus on than getting in the pants of your coworkers. Things like, you know, actually doing your job.

You weren't really sure why you bought the key in the first place. Just because you could, maybe? It was the most expensive thing at the casino, being able to afford it at all was impressive. You supposed you'd wanted to get something to show that all your time spent in there wasn't a waste.

Wanting to prove you weren't wasting your time by buying something that would only succeed in wasting more time. You really didn't think things through sometimes, huh?

Oh well. It wasn't like you could return it, so might as well do something with it. You decided to use it once, just to see what it was like. If the experience was that bad, then you could always give it away or something. There were probably a few people in Millennium who would like it.

You couldn't deny being a little nervous about it, though. _Anyone_ could be in there when you showed up, including the Major himself. The thought of being in a love hotel with him was more than a little intimidating, not to mention how awkward it would be after the fact if he remembered it. The instructions that came with the key said that whoever you ended up with wouldn't remember the events that transpired in the hotel, but that was something you'd have to see for yourself to believe.

At first, you'd thought it was pretty stupid for a key to have instructions. Who didn't know how to use a key? As it turned out though, they contained some pretty important information.

You couldn't choose who you ended up with, whoever was there when you arrived was who you got. You wondered if this rule could be bypassed by simply bringing someone with you when you went, but you suspected that would just result in some sort of threesome, which wasn't exactly the most desirable event. At least, not when you had no say in who the third person involved would be.

While the two of you were in the hotel, whoever you were with wouldn't really see you as _you_ but rather as their ideal person. The hotel room itself would get a similar treatment, with them seeing it as whatever place fit their fantasy.

While you were there with them, it was up to you to fulfill their fantasy by playing along with whatever scenario their mind conjured up. If you failed to do this, they would wake up the next morning in utter despair. If you succeeded however, they'd wake up feeling utter bliss.

This made things a lot more complicated than you'd originally anticipated. You'd expected this to work like... basically the same way as a normal love hotel. You show up with someone, fuck around for a bit, get off, and leave. None of these elaborate rules and weird, probably supernatural, mind game shenanigans.

Although, this also made things a lot more interesting. This way, you were pretty much guaranteed to get to know whoever you ended up with better. Having to participate in someone's deepest fantasies was a pretty intimate thing, it would give you a chance to peek into the mind of your partner for the night.

Of course, you could easily get to know any of your coworkers better by simply talking to them, but this was more fun. Faster too, probably. It could take years to learn someone's true desires, and you had the chance to figure that sort of thing out in one night. How could you not jump at an opportunity like that?

You were actually pretty excited for this, if you were being honest. Not for the reasons you probably should've been, but still. You couldn't help the skip in your step as you approached the hotel.

You wondered who would be waiting for you. No matter who it was, the experience would likely be... intense. Though, some options seemed more manageable than others. Someone like Luke or Rip would likely be a lot less crazy than the likes of Zorin or Major. At least from what you could tell from how they acted in a normal, everyday setting.

Not that you cared too much about who you got. If there was anyone you were strongly opposed to, you wouldn't take the risk of encountering them by doing this. You were prepared for whatever could be thrown at you. As prepared as you could be, given the circumstances.

When you made your way to the room you would be staying in for the night, you entered with ease and confidence. This was going to be great, you were gonna kill it.

You looked up to see who you were stuck with, seeing none other than Jan Valentine sitting on the bed waiting for you.

So, you were going to be participating in Jan's ideal fantasy, huh? 

You couldn't even begin to imagine what that entailed. You had a feeling you were in for quite a ride. 

At the thought of the possibilities, your nerves began to return. Just a little bit. Jan was hard to deal with even in casual conversation, his loud and crass nature making it hard for even the most patient in the organization to be around him. Not to mention, you'd heard from people who have been around him while he's out on the job, the joy he felt when killing and harming others was definitely at least a little sexual.

In the span of only a few seconds, you came to the conclusion that you actually weren't prepared at all. You felt like a fool for not considering this possibility.

Luckily before your mind could wander too much, Jan noticed your presence. "Oh, hey! You showed up!" He visibly perked up at the sight of you.

Well it would be rude to just back out now, might as well play along. If things got too crazy then you could always leave. Having Jan wake up in despair wouldn't be great, namely for anyone who would have to interact with him, but there was a limit to how much you could take. Hopefully, you wouldn't end up reaching that limit.

"Well yeah, of course I did." You were tempted to ask what you showed up for, but figured it would be better to just act like you knew what you were doing. Asking questions might break the illusion for him for all you knew, it wasn't like you had experience with this whole love hotel thing.

"Of course." He repeated your words with a smirk, looking very smug. "Pretty excited to get this started, huh?"

That let you know that you were meant to be a willing participant in this fantasy. That was a relief. 

"I guess you could say that." He wasn't exactly wrong. You hadn't been excited for him specifically, but still.

"Feel free to get on with it, then." He leaned back a bit, resting on his hands. "Not like I'm stopping you."

"Get on with... what exactly?" So much for acting like you knew what was happening, that plan hadn't lasted long. It wasn't like you could act if you didn't know what he wanted from you, though. 

"Come on bitch, you know. Don't play dumb." Despite his words, he sounded more amused than annoyed. "The deal we made a couple days ago, remember?"

Of course you didn't remember. It was impossible for you to remember an event that didn't really happen. "You might have to jog my memory." You gave an apologetic smile. Hopefully he wouldn't mind delaying things a bit to give a little explanation.

"Come on, you know." He repeated, seeming confused at your lack of knowledge. "We were out at the shooting range and we ended up having a little competition."

You nodded, that made sense. Jan _did_ spend a lot of time at Millennium's shooting range, he loved testing out all the different weapons the organization had to offer. It was actually one of the few productive things he willingly did.

"We decided to see who was more accurate with their guns, and," He gave a sly little grin. "We agreed that the winner could do whatever they wanted to the loser."

Oh. Okay. You supposed that was something you actually should've expected, it sounded very much like something he would try to rope someone into, but it still caught you a bit off guard.

"You ended up kicking my ass pretty hard." He admitted with a slightly embarrassed chuckle. "Guess accuracy ain't really my specialty."

Now that, you could believe. From what little you'd seen of him in action, Jan didn't seem to care too much about what he hit when he was shooting, as long as the target died and none of his allies got hurt.

"The fact that you thought you stood a chance is kinda ridiculous." You let yourself tease him a little. "Unless you knew you would lose and challenged me anyway?" 

"Maybe. Who knows?" The look he gave you all but confirmed your accusation was true. "Can you blame me? How else was I supposed to make you agree to fuck me?"

By talking to you, maybe? But that would require Jan to actually know how to talk to people, which would be a stretch of the imagination even in this sort of fantasy scenario.

The mental image of Jan attempting to flirt like a normal person was enough to get a laugh out of you. You recovered quickly though and gave him a fond smile. "You're really stupid, you know?"

"Yeah, and you love it." The little jab did nothing to dampen his spirits. If anything, he looked even more smug than before. "'Sides, I'm sexy enough to get away with it. A hot piece of ass like me would only get weighed down if I started thinkin' too hard about shit."

That made you laugh again. He really was just absurd.

You were actually kind of surprised at how much you were enjoying this. Being basically trapped in a room with Jan, that is. Normally he was annoying to the point where his presence alone was overwhelming, just the thought of spending time alone with him was enough to give most people a headache. This was nothing like that though, this was really pleasant. You found yourself feeling glad that it was him you'd ended up with. It was fun even, and you two hadn't even done anything yet.

"For real though, we gonna get on with this?" Speaking of doing things, it seemed Jan was starting to grow impatient. That wasn't surprising, the fact that he'd lasted this long without rushing things along was a bit of a miracle.

"Yeah, of course." No need to keep him waiting any longer. He told you what you wanted to know, now it was time for you to give him what he wanted.

"Fuck yeah! So, what did you have in mind?" He looked about ready to burst with excitement at your confirmation. "Or... is it a secret? You plannin' on surprising me?"

You stopped to think about it for a moment. What _were_ you going to do? Could you really do anything you wanted? Or, was that a lie? Was there actually something specific he wanted from you that you hadn't caught onto yet?

You doubted it, Jan was a very simple and straightforward person. He didn't seem like the type to enjoy mind games, especially if they would delay him getting his dick wet.

Still, _anything_ was a very vague request. It left you with lots of options, and you hadn't exactly showed up with too many plans for what you wanted out of this encounter. You'd figured that whoever your partner was would be choosing what went down, and that you wouldn't have to worry about much aside from following whatever whims they had.

Your indecisiveness caused Jan's impatience to escalate into frustration. He scowled, shooting you a nasty glare. "Well come on, we don't got all fuckin' night." He paused, mulling over his words. "Okay, we do, but you standing there and wasting time is just gonna kill the mood."

Ah. There was the usual annoyance that came from being around Jan. You hadn't even been thinking it over for a full minute. You understood that he was eager, but would it kill him to not be a dick about it? You barely resisted rolling your eyes at him.

He noticed your shift in mood and grinned, finding it quite amusing. "Oh, you're mad? Why not do something about it? Punish me a little or something?"

Now that was certainly an idea. If he was trying to goad you into hurting him, that was something that could be arranged. Plus, with the various items that were available in the love hotel, you had plenty of choices for how you could do it.

"Or if you really want me to shut the fuck up, why not gag me?" He gladly presented you with more options. "That'd kinda suck, but it's not like I'd be able to complain about it."

That would also be very easy to accomplish. And with the amount of enthusiasm in his voice, it was clear this was something you were more than free to do.

You were looking around at the array of items stashed in various parts of the room, thinking about which ones you wouldn't mind using. You had a pretty good plan formed for how you were going to do this, before your train of thought was interrupted yet again.

"Sadism not your thing, huh? Alright, that's cool." It seemed Jan had misinterpreted your lack of immediate action as hesitance. "You rather be the one getting hurt, then? Or are you just not into any of the pain shit?" 

You were going to answer that, but apparently it had been a rhetorical question, since Jan just kept talking.

"You rather do something more tame? Cause I ain't picky, vanilla shit can be pretty fun too." His playful demeanor had pretty much completely disappeared. He was still trying to act casual and unaffected, but it was clear he was at least a little bothered. "We don't even gotta _really_ fuck if you don't want, I could just go down on you or something."

And now you were back to being irritated. Maybe if he stopped assuming shit and actually let you get a word in edgewise, you could reassure him. Let him know that you were still completely down for this, he didn't need to lower the bar for you or avoid suggesting things he wanted. You were open minded, you were fine with most things he might want.

You didn't get the chance to say any of that though, because he just would not shut the hell up. He kept listing things, most being of the more mild variety, without giving you the chance to give any input. You were tempted to try interrupting him or talking over him, but that would probably just make him angry. Sure, he wanted a response out of you, but you doubted he'd appreciate being cut off.

So, you just listened and waited. He'd have to shut up eventually, right?

Wrong.

He did stop rattling off ideas at some point. He went momentarily quiet and it seemed like he was done, but that didn't last very long. He looked up at you before speaking again. "You do actually wanna be here, right?"

That gave you a pause. That was different from any of the other questions he'd posed to you that night, in the sense that it actually sounded genuine. Like a real question, and not just him saying words.

He also seemed nervous. His voice was quiet, probably quieter than you'd ever heard it before. There was his body language as well. While earlier he'd looked very relaxed and open, now he looked more withdrawn, almost curled in on himself.

He quickly stopped this though, his mood changing before you even had time to properly feel bad for him. You suspected that was maybe deliberate, that he wanted to distract you from his moment of weakness.

He went from worried to pissed, glaring like he wanted to tear you apart. "The fuck's wrong with you? You some kinda pussy or something?" He stood, marching up to you and grabbing you by the collar of your shirt. 

You didn't flinch or pull away. He wouldn't actually hurt you... probably. 

"Is your brain fucking broken? You do know when I say you can do anything, I mean fuckin' _anything_ , right?"

Yes. The two of you had established that. 

Apparently he thought very little of your mental capabilities, because he decided to elaborate. 

"Like, you wanna hurt me? Go ahead, I can take it. Make me fucking _bleed_ , make me cry, I don't care." He wasn't quite shaking you, but he looked like he wasn't too far from starting. "Wanna humiliate me? Sounds great, make me lick your fucking boots or spit on me or whatever."

You cringed at some of the examples he was giving, but you weren't surprised at any of it. Being surprised at Jan being crude would be like being surprised at a vampire drinking from someone.

"Or... Do you want me to just lay there and take it? I can do that." He tried to keep sounding angry, but the anxiety from earlier crept its way into his voice. "I mean, I'm not really good at being quiet, but I could try. You'd barely even know I'm here, it'd be like fucking a doll."

This went on for a while. He continuously threw out sex acts he'd be willing to participate in, many of which were very extreme. You really hoped these weren't things he had experience doing, you weren't sure if you'd be able to look at him the same way if that were the case.

As he kept going, it was clear he was running out of steam. The energy and volume drained from his voice, his hands started to shake. By the time he was done, any pride he'd been trying to preserve by hiding his emotions before was gone. He was basically begging, pleading with you to just do _something_.

Despite his uncomfortable emotional fit, you didn't plan to just leave. Actually, you were probably even more willing to stay because of it. You'd feel like an asshole if you left him while he was this visibly distressed.

 _Why_ he was so broken up at the idea of someone not wanting to sleep with him, you didn't really want to think too deep into. Sure, you'd come here with the intentions of getting to know whoever you ended up with, but that was probably some deeply personal shit. He likely hadn't even unpacked it himself, so it'd be fucked up for you to start playing psychiatrist and digging into it.

There was one little problem though, staying meant you had to do something to him. And you weren't really sure he was in the right emotional state for that sort of thing. Especially if he actually wanted you to do any of the more fucked up stuff he'd suggested, he was far from okay enough for any of that.

You thought it over, considering your options. As you were beginning to grow frustrated and consider giving up, one idea popped up in your mind.

You weren't sure how successful it'd be, but trying it would be better than just walking out. 

As Jan was clinging to you and trying to compose himself, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a gentle embrace.

He tensed up at this, but didn't outright pull away. After a few seconds, he found his voice. "What... the fuck? What are you doing?"

"It's called a hug, you looked like you could use one."

"Yeah, no shit. Why're you doing it, though?"

You'd already answered that, but you didn't have it in you to be annoyed at him. "You said I could do whatever I wanted, right? Maybe I just want to hold you for a while."

"Why? You could've picked something way more fun." 

"Okay... and? I made up my mind."

That made him go quiet for a bit, seemingly stunning him. The first thing he did upon breaking out of his shock was start laughing. "God, you really are a pussy." Despite his mocking words, he didn't appear to have any problems with your decision. In fact, he relaxed considerably, tentatively putting his arms around you and tucking his head underneath your chin.

You two stayed like that for pretty much the rest of the night. Over time, his mood improved significantly. He completely melted into your arms, holding onto you even tighter.

The two of you talked about whatever nonsense came to your minds to pass the time. Well, Jan did most of the talking, having no shortage of ridiculous tangents to go on. You found yourself really enjoying his stories of insane cosmetic surgeons and running people's bars out of business. You kind of doubted the authenticity of a lot of what he said, but it was entertaining enough that you didn't really care.

Eventually though, the morning started to come, and staying in the hotel during daylight hours was prohibited.

Before separating, you gave him a chaste little kiss on the forehead. For once, he didn't try to escalate things or make fun of you for doing something more modest. He didn't make any comment at all actually, just letting out a bashful little giggle and pulling his hat over the spot you'd kissed.

As you left, you found yourself disappointed that he wasn't going to remember any of this. Spending time with him like that had been really nice, you definitely wouldn't mind doing it again.

You supposed you could just ask him to hang out, but you doubted that would yield the same results. Not at first, at least, but if you did it for long enough...

Well. That decided your plans for the next week. You were going to become one of the only people who willingly spent time around Jan, and you had a feeling it was gonna be pretty great.

**Author's Note:**

> Jan's wildest fantasy is for someone to look past his obnoxious and overly sexual front and just give him love & affection....
> 
> For real though, I've always thought the love hotel scenes in V3 were a really interesting concept. Really creepy if you think too deep into it, but super cool. So I tried to use the concept of them to explore Jan's character, while hopefully making it comprehensible and not completely dumb for ppl who haven't played V3


End file.
